In mid-December, with a six-week break before the spring semester started when I’d once again be responsible for shaping the young minds of tomorrow, I knew I’d have a lot of time on my hands. I’d also recently made a list of intentions for the first month of the New Year – one of which was to create something every week. With so much time, and a renewed interest in art supplies, I had the brilliant idea of getting a part-time job at Michael’s.
But, after filling out the equivalent of a three-minute relationship quiz in Cosmo, I got bored and decided I probably didn’t really want a part-time job at Michael’s. As quickly as I’d forgotten about the endeavor, the evil trolls of the Interwebs siezed upon my naivety. The next morning, I was mortified.
I knew time was not on my side. I prayed I could unsubscribe from every possible marketing list before the “they” of the Interwebs released the Kraken and my personal email address of nearly 15 years would have to be abandoned for safety.
Suddenly, the paranoia of being metaphorically eaten alive by my email got the better of me. Not only did it seem vitally important that I let the underworld know I did not want a retail job and to forgive my entering their domain, I wanted to ensure the sanctity of my email home, so I promptly began unsubscribing from every possible email list I’d willingly (or hadn’t minded being) opted in to.
Then I came up against this. It seems harmless. But, I dare you all to sign up for either Kohl’s or Bliss’s email lists and then try to get out of them. Both send you in an endless loop back to the same screen and never actually let you unsubscribe.